blowing dust off an old cover

So my mother asked me to accompany her to vietnam. i was ready. i had ideas, visions, plans... horrible buses, street scams, dodgy adventures! however, my mom decided that after pre-dreaming about the trip for a year, that she was more confident to take the reins and lead the way. or just invite her friend hoa to do that for her. having been on visits a few times previously and being a native vietnamese who also married an american, hoa was 'experienced' and gave my mother the feeling of security that she lacked. she knew how to pack, deal with questions at immigration, and handle the trip in the 'proper' way for someone who left their homeland, is richer and now considered 'foreign'.

hoa also booked our tickets. it took 2 DAYS to get to vietnam from florida (excruciating to say the least), but we made it. ive never gone through immigration in any airport that allows you to go in pairs--or even groups! but apparently, my mother was not going alone, so she and hoa went together. they then waited at the end of the counter for javi and myself to go through. ! is that legal? i guess every country has their own policies...we didnt have any problems in the end, though i did get some sarcasm from the immigration official who quickly realized that i was a 'mix' and thus, not to be well-received.

children of vietnamese/american partnerships are known in vietnam as 'bui doi' or 'can loi', meaning 'less than dust'. after the war ended, thousands of bui doi were exported from vietnam to camps or any country that would take them. those that remained in the country suffered innumerable abuses and lived at the lowest level of the social spectrum. some countries (such as australia) began accepting these warbabies in the 70s, but the US did not offically invite mixed children until 1988, when 25,000 vietnamese-americans raced over to escape persecution and some, to find their never-before-seen parents. having grown up only in western culture, i was unaware of the stigma i was carrying and consider myself extremely fortunate to have been one of the 'lucky' bui doi. the worst i have/had to deal with are the occasional stares and/or awkward silences of some of the vietnamese populace--in vietnam only, of course.

i recommend 'The Beautiful Country' (2004) to have a visual idea of what was happening in the early 90s to the bui doi.

obviously,not all vietnamese carry this prejudice of mixed children---least of all, my family! even though i speak barely any of the language, it's smiles and love all around, always. we arrived in ho chi minh city and emerged from the airport into a crowd of at least 200 people, all waiting in the sweltering heat for loved ones to submerge. within seconds, 8 of my family came running to surround and welcome us. it was a bit shocking, really, and completely insane. i think javi was overwhelmed. my mother and i loved it. they herded us and our bags into a rented van complete with driver and we sped through the city towards their home.

all in the family

So, after much delay and hoohaw, i am finally moving my as-yet-untanned booty (damn!) to share some words and pix about my recent trip to vietnam. Having left her homeland 33 years ago during the war (Vietnam War, people) (or American War, as known by locals), my mother was finally ready to return and see what had become of her country and i, having been once before, was more than happy to accompany her and 'show her the way'. (guffaw) javi joined us as official photographer/videographer and asia virgin, as did hoa, a good friend of my mother whom, as much as i love her, could be defined as a female michael jackson. the surgery thing. more on that later.

trips to asia conjure up all sorts of visions and ideas...temples, tea, noodle soup, kung fu, babies with fuckedup haircuts...buddhism, taoism, confucianism, maoism, gettin' jiggy with ho chi minism...everyone is on a different search, mission, holiday ideal, culinary adventure, photographic spectacle, sexual exploration, spiritual enlightenment, corrupt business trip, massage therapy. but not me. oh no. i did all of that the LAST time i came through here. no, this time it was about family. and how i was lucky enough to be brought into this world via two distinctly different cultural avenues, one of which i only partially was aware of.

the family which features on this trip includes my fantastically agile 80-year old auntie binh, her 10 children and their children. about 20 people in total, plus spouses and other people connected by crazily drawn bloodlines. this number accounts for only one-fifth of the number of people on my mom's side of the family, the rest more or less living in the US. i havent even met one-third of them yet! the vietnamese, like many asian populations, are breeding people. we all know the traditional explanation that large families are valued, children sustain the family name/honor, everyone cares for each other through the years and the line continues. while all that is true, i just like to think that my family likes sex. i do. and in such a warm, tropical climate...why not do it and have loads of kids?? make love, not war, right?

unfortunately for the vietnamese, they've had an unending history of only making love AND war, with very few breaks in-between.