Fat Man and Foot In Mouth

so my mother decided to do a very vietnamese-from-abroad touristy thing and hire a mercedes benz van complete with fat driver to tour the country. apparently my idea of traveling by train/bus/rickshaw did not appeal to her and she felt the family deserved to travel in style and comfort. so we packed up my aunt and a couple of cousins at our normal wakeup hour of 5am (ow), waved goodbye to those staying behind--including the fuzzy rodent friend of mine who took refuge in my hair one night-- and left the sweltering madness of ho chi minh city.

for those who have never been to asia and observed the road rules, please note that there are none. left, right, lanes, lights do not exist and the only rule i noted was that you couldnt drive above 45mph. so not only were were swerving all over the place to avoid the cows and bicycles that outnumbered the vehicles, but the driver was honking the horn every other minute to alert the potential victims in our path as we crept slowly up the coastline. he had a collection of hand signals that javi&i spent hours trying to discern. in the end, we gave up and figured he was just large, deranged, and out to rob my mother. and considering my mother refused to use my moneybelt and preferred instead to stuff a plastic grocery bag crammed full of dong down the front of her pants, i dont blame him for trying.

the main objective of this roadtrip was to attend to family matters and visit my mother's old village. i was glad that we had a goal because otherwise, we would have just driven the entire length of the coastline and done nothing but stop periodically to eat. my family doesnt seem to be into taking pictures, relaxing at beautiful vistas, or checking out local people. boring! it's much more fun to drive for hours on end and just stare out of the window. and, of course, visit exciting places such as cemetaries.

we went to pay our respects to my grandfather and great-grandparents. the cemetary was a haphazard overgrown hill of tombs, crosses, and shrines and i was amazed that we could actually find the gravesites. both were enormous, clean, impressive, the family having put in a pretty penny to lay the dead to rest. (apparently, upon visiting 2 years earlier, they found the one gravesite covered in cowpoop and were absolutely appalled) the usual ceremony ensued, complete with incense and prayers. it was a very special, serene moment. then i pointed out to my family that the dates were incorrect on my great-grandmother's tombstone. jesus christ. could someone please gag me and throw me into a bottomless pit??

Memory Fades with Old Age

mmm...yeah. so did i really go to vietnam or what? it's been half a year and ive failed in my mission to record the trip in its entirety here. sigh. im such a goddamn slackass. now i cant decide if i should attempt to continue it or just post some of my favourite pictures from the journey. hmm. maybe i could attempt a summary and post lots of pix. or just post key words that might provide the essence of what the 3 weeks was all about. or write a haiku. how many syllables are in each line? i always forget. jesus, what do i remember anyway? back in the day i used to keep a diary, but now i just get cramps in my hand so screw that. pbbbttt!!

im pathetic. so here are a few pictures to view while i pull myself together. just fun stuff for now. i'll shock later with tales of the leper colony and the viet cong.